Pet Peeve #249: Stupid Marriage Proposal Stunts

We’ve all seen them, or read about them, or perhaps been subjected to them: lame ass marriage proposal stunts. The question in my bitchy brain every single time is this: why the fuck would one turn a solemn occasion like that of proposing to spend the rest of one’s life committed to someone into a demonstration of jackassitude? And once you’ve done such a questionable thing, why the fuck would your intended ever agree to go along with it? Recently there was a news story about a guy who decided to propose marriage in front of a group of friends at McDonalds. The kickoff would be when his beloved found the ring that he placed at the bottom of her drink. Imagine his lame-brained surprise when she didn’t find the ring. Why? She swallowed it. Bet he never saw that one coming.

Probably the most heartwarming of these stories, however, is this one depicted in an infamous youtube video in which the guy takes his girl out on the basketball court at half-time in front of a million people to propose and she says no. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to watch her walk away and leave the schmuck at mid-court ring still held aloft. In fact if this sort of thing happened more often, ladies, guys might stop this hamming around.